How to Educate Your Children

It is an interesting article that I got it from Anggugu!

美國媽媽如何教育孩子

网上看来的,觉得非常useful, 和大家分享。

儿子去美国留学,毕业后定居美国。还给我找了个洋媳妇苏珊。如今,小孙子托比已经3岁了。今年夏天,儿子为我申请了探亲签证。在美国待了三个月,洋媳妇苏 珊教育孩子的方法,令我这个中国婆婆大开眼界。

不吃饭就饿着

每天早上,托比醒来后,苏珊把早餐往餐桌上一放,就自顾自地忙去了。托比会自己爬上凳子,喝牛奶,吃面包片。吃饱后,他回自己的房间,在衣柜里找衣服、鞋 子,再自己穿上。毕竟托比只有3岁,还搞不清楚子的正反面,分不清鞋子的左右脚。有一次托比又把裤子穿反了,我赶紧上前想帮他换,却被苏珊制止了。她说, 如果他觉得不舒服,会自己脱下来,重新穿好;如果他没觉得有什么不舒服,那就随他的便。那一整天,托比反穿着裤子跑来跑去,苏姗像没看见一样。

又一次,托比出去和邻居家的小朋友玩,没多大会就气喘吁吁地跑回家,对苏珊说:“妈妈,露西说我的裤子穿反了,真的吗?”露西是邻居家的小姑娘,今年5 岁。苏姗笑着说:“是的,你要不要换回来?”托比点点头,自己脱下裤子,仔细看了看,重新穿上了。从那以后,托比再也没穿反过裤子。

我不禁想起,我的外孙女五六岁时不会用筷子,上小学时不会系鞋带。如今在上寄宿制初中的她,每个周末都要带回家一大堆脏衣服呢。

一天中午,托比闹情绪,不肯吃饭。苏珊说了他几句,愤怒地小托比一把将盘子推到了地上,盘子里的食物洒了一地。苏姗看着托比,认真地说:“看来你确实不想 吃饭!记住,从现在到明天早上,你什么都不能吃。”托比点点头,坚定地回答:“Yes!”我在心里暗笑,这母子俩,还都挺倔!

下午,苏珊和我商量,晚上由我做中国菜。我心领神会,托比告别爱吃中国菜,一定是苏珊觉得托比中午没好好吃饭,想让他晚上多吃点儿。

那天晚上我施展厨艺,做了托比最爱吃的糖醋里脊、油闷大虾,还用意大利面做了中国式的凉面。托比最喜欢吃那种凉面,小小的人可以吃满满一大盘。

开始吃晚饭了,托比欢天喜地地爬上凳子。苏珊却走过来,拿走了他的盘子和刀叉,说:“我们已经约好了,今天你不能吃饭,你自己也答应了的。”托比看着面容 严肃的妈妈,“哇”地一声在哭起来,边哭边说:“妈妈,我饿,我要吃饭。”“不行,说过的话要算数。”苏珊毫不心软。

我心疼了,想替托比求情,说点好话,却见儿子对我使眼色。想起我刚到美国时,儿子就跟我说,在美国,父母教育孩子时,别人千万不要插手,即使是长辈也不例 外。无奈,我只好保持沉默。

那顿饭,从始至终,可怜的小托比一直坐在玩具车里,眼巴巴地看着我们三个大人狼吞虎咽。我这才明白苏珊让我做中餐的真正用意。我相信,下一次,托比想发脾 气扔饭碗时,一定会想起自己饿着肚子看爸爸妈妈和奶奶享用美食的经历。饿着肚子的滋味不好受,况且还是面对自己最喜爱的食物。

临睡前,我和苏珊一起去向托比道晚安。托比小心翼翼地问:“妈妈,我很饿,现在我能吃中国面吗?”苏珊微笑着摇摇头,坚决地说:“不!”托比叹了口气,又 问:“那等我睡完觉睁开眼睛时,可以吃吗?”“当然可以。”苏珊温柔地回答。托比甜甜地笑了。

大部分情况下,托比吃饭都很积极,他不想因为“罢吃”而错过食物,再受饿肚子的苦。每当看到托比埋头大口大口地吃饭,嘴上脸上粘的都是食物时,我就想起外 孙女。她像托比这么大时,为了哄她吃饭,几个大人端着饭碗跟在她屁股后面跑,她还不买账,还要谈条件:吃完这碗买一个玩具,再吃一碗买一个玩具……

以其人之道,还治其人这身

有一天,我们带托比去公园玩。很快,托比就和两个女孩儿玩起了厨房游戏。塑料小锅、小铲子、小盘子、小碗摆了一地。忽然,淘气的托比拿起小锅,使劲在一个 女孩儿头上敲了一下,女孩儿愣了一下,放声大哭。另一个女孩儿年纪更小一些,见些情形,也被吓得大哭起来。大概托比没想到会有这么严重的后果,站在一旁, 愣住了。

苏珊走上前,开清了事情的来龙去脉后,她一声不吭,拿起小锅,使劲敲到托比的头上,托比没防备,一下子跌坐在草地上,哇哇大哭起来。苏珊问托比:“疼吗? 下次还这样吗?”托比一边哭,一边拼命摇头。我相信他以后再也不会这么做了。

托比的舅舅送了他一辆浅蓝色的小自行车,托比非常喜欢,当成宝贝,不许别人碰。邻居小姑娘露西是托比的好朋友,央求托比好几次,要骑他的小车,托比都没答 应。

一次,几个孩子一起玩时,露西趁托比不注意,偷偷骑上小车,扬长而去。托比发现后,气愤地跑来向苏珊告状。苏珊正和几个孩子的母亲一起聊天喝咖啡,便微笑 着说:“你们的事情自己解决,妈妈可管不了。”托比无奈地走了。

过了一小会儿,露西骑着小车回来了。托比看到露西,一把将她推倒在地,抢过了小车。露西坐在地上大哭起来。苏珊抱起露西,安抚了她一会儿。很快,露西就和 别的小朋友兴高采烈地玩了起来。

托比自己骑了会车,觉得有些无聊,看到那几个孩子玩得那么高兴,他想加入,又觉得有些不好意思。他蹭到苏珊身边,嘟囔道:“妈妈,我想跟露西他们一起 玩。”苏珊不动声色地说:“那你自己去找他们啦!”“妈妈,你陪我一起去。”托比恳求道。“那可不行,刚才是你把露西弄哭的,现在你又想和大家玩,就得自 己去解决问题。”

托比骑着小车慢慢靠近露西,快到她身边时,又掉头回来。来回好几次,不知道从什么时候开始,托比和露西又笑逐颜开,闹成了一团。

管教孩子是父母的事

苏珊的父母住在加利福尼亚州,听说我来了,两人开车来探望我们。家里来了客人,托比很兴奋,跑上跑下地乱窜。他把玩沙子用的小桶装满了水,提着小桶在屋里 四处转悠。苏珊警告了她好几次,不要把水洒到地板上,托比置若罔闻。最后,托比还是把水桶弄倒了,水洒了一地。兴奋的小托比不觉得自己做错了事,还得意地 光着脚丫踩水玩,把裤子全弄湿了。我连忙找出拖把准备拖地。苏珊从我手中抢过拖把交给托比,对他说:“把地拖干,把湿衣服脱下来,自己洗干净。”托比不愿 意,又哭又闹。苏珊二话不说,直接把他拉到贮藏室,关了禁闭。听到托比在里面发出惊天动地的哭喊,我心疼坏了,想进去把他抱出来。托比的外婆却拦住我, 说:“这是苏珊的事。”

过了一会儿,托比不哭了,他在贮藏室里大声喊:“妈妈,我错了。”苏珊站在门外,问:“那你知道该怎么做了吗?”“我知道。”苏珊打开门,托比从贮藏室走 出来,脸上还挂着两行泪珠。他拿起有他两个高的拖把吃力地把地上的水拖干净。然后,他脱下裤子,拎在手上,光着屁股走进洗手间,稀里哗啦地洗起衣服来。

托比的外公外婆看着表情惊异的我,意味深长地笑了。这件事让我感触颇深。在很多中国家庭,父母管教孩子时,常常会引起“世界大战”,往往是外婆外公护,爷 爷奶奶拦,夫妻吵架,鸡飞狗跳。

后来,我和托比的外公外婆聊天时,提到这件事,托比的外公说了一段话,让我印象深刻。他说,孩子是父母的孩子,首先要尊重父母对孩子的教育方式。孩子虽然 小,却是天生的外交家,当他看到家庭成员之间出现分歧时,他会很聪明地钻空子。这不仅对改善他的行为毫无益处,反而会导致问题越来越严重,甚至带来更多别 的问题。而且,家庭成员之间发生冲突,不和谐的家庭氛围会带给孩子更多的不安全感,对孩子的心理发展产生不利影响。所以,无论是父辈与祖辈在教育孩子的问 题上发生分歧,还是夫妻两人的教育观念有差异,都不能在孩子面前发生冲突。

托比的外公外婆在家里住了一周,准备回加利福尼亚了。临走前两天,托比的外公郑重地问女儿:“托比想要一辆玩具挖掘机,我可以买给他吗?”苏珊想了想, 说:“你们这次来,已经送给他一双旱冰鞋作为礼物了,到圣诞节时,再买玩具挖掘机当礼物送给他吧!”

我不知道托比的外公是怎么告诉小家伙的,后来我带托比去超市,他指着玩具挖掘机说:“外公说,圣诞节时,给我买这个当礼物。”语气里满是欣喜和期待。

虽然苏珊对托比如此严格,托比去却对妈妈爱得不得了。他在外面玩时,会采集一些好看的小花或者他认为漂亮的叶子,郑重其事地送给妈妈;别人送给他礼物,他 会叫妈妈和他一起拆开;有什么好吃的,也总要留一半给妈妈。

想到很多中国孩子对父母的漠视与冷淡,我不得不佩服我的洋媳妇。在我看来,在教育孩子的问题上,美国妈妈有很多值得中国妈妈学习的地方

Happy 7-Month Old Birthday

Ethan is still not teething yet! He is biting on her fingers a lot but we still don't see anything on her gums. Haha. Some said it is good because his teeth will not decay that early. Well, we shall see!

At 7 months old, Ethan is a very determine and persistent boy. He will try to get the things he wants. He has also started to crawl now. Clap Clap to you, my dear boy!

For the first time, we brought him to trim his hair at one of the salon near to our house. He was ok initially but towards the later part, he cried out loud. Haha...

Happy 6-Month-Old Birthday!


Ethan is is 6-month old! He is on solid now! Last 2 weeks, we tried him with apple. First spoonful.... frown, confused face & lots of mouth moving. He doesn't seem to enjoy it! So I stop feeding him. Then later in the afternoon, we tried him with Nestle Brown Rice Cereal. Hey, he loves the cereal. We feed him 2 meals a day & the amount is increasing from 2 teaspoons to 6 teaspoons now. Hubby & I actually think that Susana has fed him too much because his tummy is getting bigger! Last 2 days, he experienced some bloating & gassiness. Haha! My poor little boy! BB has asked me to tell Susana to cut Ethan's cereal feeding to one meal . Last night, BB opened up the cereal and realized that they have almost finished up the tin of cereal in 1 week. He was so furious and told me to convey his message to Susana! Oops!

Besides, Dr. Gan has also reminded us not to introduce Ethan with too many food at a time. In case he has allergic reaction, then we are able to discover the food he is allergy to. Some might say we are skeptical and "kiasi" to expose our baby to difference type of food, but who care! We rather play safe than facing unnecessary consequences later!

Besides, we also unsatisfied with Susana's style of feeding. She will feed Ethan on lying down position. Frankly speaking, when Ethan was as young as 2 months old, they already fed him milk on this position. I dislike it because I worried he will be choked! Somehow, I have no choice but to accept it. Again, they are doing it when he is on solid! I totally can't accept it this time. So, I can only keep on reminding Susana to stop feeding Ethan in such position. Hope Daddy will buy him a high chair soon!

Basically, Ethan is fun, active and playful. He loves to play & he is not shy to laugh out loud! When he is unhappy, he cried out loud. Hmm... Guess that is the best part of being a baby! Kiss Kiss!

Who is the Mother?

I'm sad. I was playing with Ethan after I have changed him. Then Susana came and said goodbye to him before going to take her shower. I thought of putting him to sleep. So I switched off the light. Then he started to cry! I transferred him to his bouncer but sadly, he was still crying none stop. BB heard of his cry and came in. He put him onto his mattress and he cried even fiercely. We ignored him. Well, it was kind of hurt to see him cried out loud.

However, he was much more calmer after Susana came in. Oh my! For that 10 minutes, our beloved son can't recognize us! How could it possibly be? I'm really upset. After some thoughts, he maybe.....
  1. too tired for the day (cause his mood was not good for the whole day); or
  2. he is feeling discomfort as he is teething soon; or
  3. I turned off the light as soon as Susana went out from the room
Well, for a start, we have decided to bring Ethan over to sleep with us every Friday. Lets see how it goes!

Happy Tiger Year!

This year, we spent our CNY's eve at our auntie house at Tropicana. Ethan was not used to it for the first few hours. But after that, he was perfectly fine with it. Though he never get to sleep real peacefully.

Throughout the journey back to Melaka, he was so grumpy. He cried none stop. So the Daddy has decided to discipline him by putting him in his car seat (rather than letting Susana to cradle him). He was crying with his crocodile tears. We ignored him. After a few tries, he fell to sleep. Haha...

BB told me that a person characters can never change but we can discipline him when he is still young. I totally agreed! So Ethan Chan, please be prepared from now on. Nobody can ever pamper u now if we are around with you. I do hope "Wak Wak" and the PoPo will not spoil him when we are not around.

We wish everyone a prosperous, healthy and wealthy Tiger Year!

My Moo Moo Factory


Everyone was impressed when they opened up my freezer. Haha... Actually there is nothing to shout about with my milk production. Some of my friends are even more than mine. :)

Ethan is coming to 5th month soon & my milk production has also dropped. Initially, Dr. Gan is advising me to take 20mg t.d.s of Motilium to boost up my milk supply. But at the end, I have decided not to as Ethan is starting his solid meal soon. Besides, the hectic work schedules has also holding me back from doing so.

So, Ethan boy, Mummy has tried the best and hope you are fine with the arrangement ya. Love u.

Happy 4-Month-Old Birthday!

How is the 4th months old Ethan doing? He is doing extremely great! We are so proud of his progress! He begins to love his shower times. He bathes twice a day. Whenever u took him out from his bathtub, he will sure make lot of complaints! Besides, he has refused to lie down nowadays. He wants to be in sit up position so that he can survey the world. Of course, this playful boy likes to giggle & wiggle especially when his PoPo plays with him. It is definitely a joy to see the changes on him.

He is on bib because he drools so often. Has the white thingy teeth start to grow yet?

It is PoPo's birthday! Ethan is happily cradled by his Ah Toh.

It's PoPo's 80-Years Old birthday. The celebration is held at Klana Hotel, Seremban. Happy Birthday, PoPo & Ah Toh!

Hey! I have something to share! Ethan pooed while we were driving to Seremban. So we have no choice but to clean him up at one of the petrol station. :)

Breastfeeding & Working

Ethan is coming to the 4th month next week. I'm also impress that I'm still breastfeeding him. I was quite worried that I couldn't cope with the breastfeeding schedules once I started my work. Luckily, with the support from Hubby & also my determination, I managed to do it successfully.

I did think of given up initially due to few reasons. Firstly, I do not have the luxury to enjoy my lunch with my buddies anymore. I have to rush back home to express my milk or express it at the breastfeeding room in the hospital. Hence, normally I will opt for a heavy breakfast so that it could last me till the next meal.

Secondly, I also have to wake up every 6am to express my milk before I prepared myself to go to work. So my rest times are quite short actually.

Thirdly, with my recent job, I am even more tiring. With the stress & assignment given, I am exhausted. I dozed off easily.

Anyway, I'll just have to put all these aside. To tell you the truth, I feel a sense of satisfaction when I see my little one is growing healthily each day. So, I'll never give up breastfeeding Ethan at the moment. Hurray Mummy!

Bonding

Though BB only have the chance to play with Ethan in the weekend, it does not mean that they are not close to each other. In fact, they have their way of communicating! Surprisingly, Ethan is always looking forward to play with his Daddy. Pictures paint the thousand words!

BB is away to Pittsburgh for a week. Ethan should be missing his Daddy very much. So do the mummy here.

Happy New Year 2010


Happy New Year to everyone! Wishing you all have a blessed year.

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